Hot Mess Mommy Express

My first baby turned four....FOUR! How on earth does that happen in what feels like the blink of an eye? It made me realize that my little babies will before I know it, grow up just like my first born. It really puts things into perspective when you celebrate another birthday. It reopened my eyes to the fact that you only get those first couple years, the baby years, one time. I try my best to take everything in, take videos and pictures and hold all three of my kids close. Sometimes, I just drop everything and hold them, granted my four year old is hard to catch these days.  Talk about tugging the heart strings! Last night after I put the babies down for the night, we decided to sit on the couch and watch Rhylan's baby videos from his first year. We want to make it a tradition! Not long into the video, we noticed that Rhylan had tears streaming down his face. When asked what was wrong, he responded with "I can't be that little again." and the tears continued to flo...

This has been weighing on my mind for over eight weeks now. I'm not sure how to get past it or if I ever will. At least once a day, the emotions that I felt in that moment come flooding back. I see his face and the hurt in his eyes. I see the spirit and excitement draining from his face. I feel that pit in my stomach every time I think about it and from time to time, I find myself holding back the tears.  I don't think this person realizes the amount of hurt that they brought into such a joyous occasion. And to act like nothing happened makes it hurt even worse. I will never forget how that felt and it will always be a memory. I don't know how we're supposed to forgive and forget or if we ever will. But I know that my feelings toward this person will never be the same.  You can't take back the things that were said and I wish you would've been understanding of where we were coming from and supportive of our decisions. Instead you decided to lash out via text...

If I haven't been on the blog for quite some time, it's because these sweet little girls (and four year old too) are keeping me busy! And I wouldn't have it any other way. These last 12 weeks have been unbelievably amazing! I cannot believe that after this month, I will be returning to my full-time job. It's a mixed emotion feeling, because being with my kids each and every day is wonderful! At the same time, we are a two income family and I wish that we could afford for me to be a stay-at-home mom, but that is just not going to happen. Plus, I am so proud of the fact that we work hard for everything that we have.  I'd be lying if I said that our funds are not super tight right now. In a way, it makes me a bit eager to return to work. It will be nice to have the financial stability again. I know that there are a lot of one income families out there and my props go out to you for making it work! At the same time, not working makes me miss adult interaction and the ...