Skip to main content

To Forgive & Forget

This has been weighing on my mind for over eight weeks now. I'm not sure how to get past it or if I ever will. At least once a day, the emotions that I felt in that moment come flooding back. I see his face and the hurt in his eyes. I see the spirit and excitement draining from his face. I feel that pit in my stomach every time I think about it and from time to time, I find myself holding back the tears. 

I don't think this person realizes the amount of hurt that they brought into such a joyous occasion. And to act like nothing happened makes it hurt even worse. I will never forget how that felt and it will always be a memory. I don't know how we're supposed to forgive and forget or if we ever will. But I know that my feelings toward this person will never be the same. 

You can't take back the things that were said and I wish you would've been understanding of where we were coming from and supportive of our decisions. Instead you decided to lash out via text message rather than having an honest conversation. This isn't the first time that we've received your accusatory text messages, but that was a whole new level. And now whenever I see you, I can't look past the huge elephant in the room. I wish you'd would learn to really communicate with us. I hope that you can find it in your heart to apologize and mean it, not to me, but to him. 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hashi-Huh?

The feeling of being trapped in your own body as it spirals out of control....how many of you have felt that way? I started 2023 in the doctor's office to talk about the crazy symptoms I had been experiencing (yet trying to deny) for the last year. Here's a run-down of the hot mess-ness that I found all consuming for far too long: Hair Loss Uncontrollable Weight Gain Debilitating Fatigue  Joint & Muscle Pain Terrible Menstrual Cycles Sensitivity to Cold Anxiety and Depression I remember absolutely cringing inside as I put this laundry list of front of my doctor. My inner narrative (this is something I'm still working on) can be so harsh and I had myself convinced that I was being a baby and needed to suck it up. However, "suck it up" was no longer an option. My TSH levels indicated a thyroid issue, which was commonly linked to the list of symptoms I presented. The first diagnosis was that of Hypothyroid Disorder and I was immediately put on Levothyroxin.  Mont...

I Hate This.

It's taken me years to finally get the courage to address several areas of my own well-being. It all started with a trip to the doctor during the first week of January. I received so much insight into issues I've been experiencing and problems that I had been choosing to ignore. I've been on medications for over a month and I truly feel like a brand new version of me.  Growing up, medication was something that was frowned upon and feared in our household. Once I became a parent, my entire perspective shifted. I knew that I would do anything in my power to give my children relief from whatever they may be experiencing. From everyday colds, to the flu, ear infections and even a journey into Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis , we've overcome a lot....thanks to modern medicine. However, there is one particular person who was left behind in this journey.  Me.  How often have we kept ourselves on the back burner as moms? How many times have we made appointments for our kids, tak...

2023 Taking Care of Me

For me, 2023 has been a year of conquering fears and making lifestyle changes. As parents, how often do we place ourselves on the back burner? It's so common and I am 100% guilty of it. This year, something inside of me clicked. Maybe it's the whole "wisdom with age" thing. Maybe it's finally getting the courage to go to therapy. Perhaps, it's a little bit of both. For me, it happened with a 3-step plan. It's a plan that terrified me, but I held myself accountable and put the plan into action.  Step 1: Medical Health January 2023, the 4th to be exact, started with a wellness visit to my primary care doctor. Was I even allowed to refer to her as that when I hadn't paid her a visit since 2018? Yes. 2018. Of course, we had the whole pandemic thing in the mix, but we can only use that excuse for so long. I hadn't had a women's well check since 2018. I was having all kinds of strange symptoms, that I told myself was just the downward spiral to 40 (n...