Skip to main content

No One Prepared Me for This

This is the part of motherhood that I feel no one prepared me for. Perhaps you can't really be prepared at all. I didn't think it would happen as quickly as it did. 

I'm talking about the day you wake up and your firstborn child is looking you in the eye and well on the way to surpassing your height. Can we not? 

Seriously! 

Sending Rhylan to middle school last year was a very tough concept to grasp. I've come to terms with being the mother of a middle schooler. I mean...what choice do I have? In doing so, I've had a front row seat to extraordinary growth (and I'm not just talking about physically). I've watched him overcome so much. Whether it was constant encounters with a bully (no one prepares you for that either), watching him navigate tough decisions, strengthening his sportsmanship or taking accountability... I'm constantly amazed by him. Last year was fifth grade. He seemed like a baby walking into that giant middle school. We're currently immersed in the world of sixth grade and he's just grown so much. 

2010 was the year he first made me a mom and it was in that year, that it seemed he'd be little forever. That is not the case! Before I knew it, I woke up one day and his adorable baby blue eyes were looking directly into mine. I realized that holy moly....this kiddo is going to pass me up soon. Those little boy innocent moments, those little boy hugs, those moments where he called me "mommy" are all a sensory memory. The daily hugs are still very much there. However, they just hit differently these days. 

Because I became a mom at age 23, I feel like we've literally grown up together. I recall watching my own parents navigate life when I was his age, without realizing that I was witnessing them doing the same. Perhaps I'm just feeling some sort of emotional way this week. Maybe it's because my sister just welcomed a new baby boy that I'm far more aware of just how grown up my once baby boy is. Either way, I am not ready to close the door on little boy Rhylan. However, I'm very much loving the young man he is becoming. He's already had to overcome so much in this fast paced world, but he does so in a way that makes me very proud. I don't expect him to be perfect. I want him to make mistakes. At the same time, I want him to feel that he can talk to me about anything. 

From that little baby boy, to the suddenly 12 year old preteen....the hugs feel like grown up hugs, he no longer calls me mommy and I carry a brand new kind of worry on his behalf these days. One thing is certain. I will always be a safe space, even when I'm the one looking up at him. But goodness no one prepared me for this. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What I Learned from Frugal January

While I don't believe in new year resolutions, I do believe in goals, aspirations and dreams. As a society, we're made to feel that with each new year, we must make resolutions, which more often than not, fade by March or set us up for failure. The feeling of failure is never good for the spirit, so a couple of years ago, I decided to stop giving in to that societal pressure. I have found that self-reflection is an excellent place to begin a new year and set realistic goals. This year, I started by challenging myself to what I named Frugal January. It's exactly what it sounds like. I challenged myself to only spend on necessities. I gave up runs to the coffee shop and trips to TJ Maxx. I gave up frivolous, careless and impulse-based spending, no matter how big or small it was. I asked myself one question with every single purchase decision, "do I really need this?" If I could live without it, I declined it. Did this cause me physical pain at times? Yes! There were...
Post a Comment
Read more

FAQ's

You may have noticed the viral photo of two twin girls in a stroller. Attached to the stroller is a sign showing the mother's response to the most common questions that she receives while out and about. I found it hilarious, because I totally understand where she's coming from. It also inspired me to make my own list! We're approaching the one year mark and I've heard it all! Here are the responses to the most common questions/statements that I get on a regular basis.  "Yes they are twins." "Yes they are mine." "Yes I am old enough to have kids." "No I did not use IVF." "They were conceived naturally." "No I was not trying to get pregnant with twins." "Yes I was surprised." "Yes my hands are full."  "Yes I am busy, but I love it!"  "Yes I DO have a job and do not stay home."   "They are not boys." "I am not exhausted or miserable at all. I lov...
Post a Comment
Read more

Two For The Price Of...

Announcing twins brings on the saying "two for the price of one!" All I can say is that is definitely not the case! Let's just break this down!  **Two Cribs  **Two Car seats  **Two Sets of Clothes (if different genders)  **Two High Chairs **Double strollers vs Single Strollers **Double the diapers **Double the formula **Double the baby food  **Plus anything else that each baby will need We received our bill from the first appointment and let me just say, the "two for one" assumption is absolutely false! They charged us an extra $237 to spot the second baby. That's all they did and it costs $237! The first line said Ultrasound - Single Fetus $475 followed by Additional Fetus $237. Really? They didn't do anything but say "oh there's a second baby!"  Makes me very apprehensive for the bills to come. Are they going to charge us double to deliver a second baby? I know that once our little bundles arrive, none of thi...
Post a Comment
Read more