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Fear

My husband and I were eating dinner the other night, with our two lively girls and big brother too. To this day, I still find myself staring at my precious baby girls in absolute awe. I always wonder what God had in mind when he gave me these two baby girls. The memory of the day we discovered that we were having twins still replays in my mind. And with that, I turned to my husband and said "What was I so afraid of?" He wondered the same thing. There was never a doubt in his mind that we could do this and I'm so thankful for his confidence. 

Part of my fear was financial and the fact that I couldn't imagine myself caring for two newborns at once. I might be bragging a little bit, but I feel like my husband and I are twin parent rockstars. The best way to describe caring for twins when someone asks is that you just do it. What choice do you have? These two little babies are counting on you and you do your best. 

Having two toddlers now is the norm at the Zehnle house. Don't come to our house if you're looking to relax, because these two are everywhere and into everything! But if you're interested in some baby snuggles, playtime and drooly kisses, it's the place to go! I may not get to sit down very often (until bedtime that is), but it's an absolute blast! Over this past weekend, I made the choice to just stop. Stop and really take everything in. Last Saturday I didn't leave the house. I focused on my kids and what they wanted to do with our day. Sometimes as a working parent, you have to remember to take that time. 

Here's a little twin update: The other day, Everly actually called me "Mommy" as clear as day. Talk about melting! Both girls are so curious, trying to learn and don't miss a thing. Our little chatterbox, Emersyn is always babbling about something. If only I could speak her language! It's absolutely adorable. Everly is now running (and dancing I might add) where Emersyn still has zero desire to walk. I believe that she can, but she has always done things on her own time. 

Back when I first found out that we were expecting twins, I was full of fear; the fear of raising two babies at the same time as well as the financial aspects of double the medical expenses and baby necessities. Now the fear is different. My fear (as with most parents) is wanting to do everything in my power to protect all three of my babies. There's that fear of something happening to them, because I can't imagine life without them. It's like I'm worried that I'm going to wake up and realize that this life is a dream. I'm sure I sound crazy, but when you fall in love (over and over) with three kiddos, you just want to do everything in your power to protect them and give them the best life possible.And so we keep on keeping on, but one of my resolutions for the coming year is to stop. Stop and take it all in; realize how blessed we are and stop focusing so much on the stresses of life. 





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