Crossing Paths

I'm taking you way back in this moment....to 1998. It was 3rd grade. I was a new student in a new school. Looking back at age eight, I can still remember how difficult the transition was. Difficult until I met...you. We were inseparable with everything in common. The very best of friends. No one could come between us. We were always in our own little world. We liked it that way. 

A friendship of that magnitude could never be broken. We grew up together, making memories, with endless laughter, endless conversation and an incredible bond. We were soul mates. It came as no surprise when we were voted "Longest Friendship" by our Senior class. And even less surprising that we decided to go to the same college. We were there for each other's milestones and firsts, highs and lows and when I looked ahead at life ahead, I always saw you by my side.

It's been almost 7 years since our friendship came crashing down. I was devastated. Broken. And couldn't understand how a friendship like ours could just fall apart. It fell apart in what felt like an instant. And to be completely honest, I still can't understand why. I remember walking into class after we called it quits and not sure where I was supposed to sit, because we always sat together. I remember wanting to knock on your dorm room door and then having to remind myself that I couldn't do that anymore. I remember graduation day; the day when the real world finally awaited us. We don't have any photos together from that day. I wanted to run up and hug you and say "we did it!" Instead we ended in awkward stares and unspoken thoughts. I remember the emptiness I felt inside when the people who I used to call family, no longer wanted to speak to me. Sometimes I ask myself why I didn't try harder to salvage that friendship of 14 years. But then I also ask myself why you didn't as well. 

Shortly after graduation, you got married and so did I, but without each other present. We went our separate ways and two completely separate lives unfolded. As life goes on, I still have the urge to pick up the phone and call you when something major happens. Sometimes a certain song brings back a memory and I find myself smiling. Sometimes when I watch reruns of our old favorite shows, I go back to the simple days when we didn't have care in the world. 

I've always wondered what it would be like when we crossed paths again. And it happened. That awkward "hello" unfolded and inside I was sad. Sad because as we walked away, my son asked "who was that?" and I was speechless. I didn't know how to respond. Little did he know that question had so much more depth than he'll ever grasp. I wish I could've had the courage to ask you how you were. I wanted to ask about your son. I wanted to ask what you do for a living. I couldn't help but wonder who your new best friend is and what she is like. But I also want you to know this. 

People still ask me about you and how you are doing, because they assume that we are still friends. I always wonder if anyone ever asks you about me and what your response is. No matter what your response, just know that the memories we made still mean the world to me. And I truly wish you the best in life. As I raise my kids and you raise yours, I can only hope that they will each find their own companions like we had in each other. I hope you know that even seven years later, I still miss you. I always will. You will forever hold a special place in my heart.