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Dancing Around Your Thoughts

Today I looked in the mirror and thought "good grief my eyes look so tired today." It's one of those days where there's just not enough concealer and you need that second or third cup of coffee.

Most of my blogs are typically silly and about rocking the mom life. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love it and wouldn't change it for the world. But we are all human and there are just certain things that can start to eat at you when kept within. Sometimes when you hold your emotions in, because you literally can't let it out in front of your littles, it can make you feel like you are going to explode. It can make you freaking crazy. In those moments, I tend to take mine and channel them into a good sweat. But sometimes we just need to talk things out.

One of the toughest aspects of my current stage of mom life is when you have something on your heart. Whether you are dealing with some crazy emotions, someone you care about has hurt your feelings, you've experienced something sad or you're struggling to deal. We all experience those times. Whatever you are dealing with emotionally...do you ever feel like you want to scream something from the rooftops to get it off of your chest, but you can't because those little ears are always around and always listening? It's even worse when you don't think they were listening...that is until they repeat your conversation to someone, typically out of context, making their momma look like a big a-hole.

We are currently in that chapter. And dang it...it can be difficult to handle. You have to remember that their curiosity is completely natural and the lack of filter is part of being a kid. But pour me some wine, because it's driving me crazy at times.

I can also remember being that little kid who was so curious about the adult world and what my own mom was talking about with her friends or on the phone. It's perfectly natural, but sometimes when I'm finally feeling like I have an opportunity to express myself, be it to my mom or a dear friend, I glance over and there are those baby blues trying to take it all in. If it's not my kiddos, it's my friend's kiddos. And it stings even worse when my words are taken in, spun and repeated to people who I never intended to know about certain conversations.

If you've watched The Handmaid's Tale, sometimes I feel like June in her having to remain mute, yet you hear all of her inner dialogue. I feel like sometimes I have a constant stream of inner dialogue, because I just can't let it out. The inability to have real conversations sometimes takes a toll. The constant interruptions when you are trying to have an adult conversation while safely dancing around some of your real thoughts to make them appropriate with children present is exhausting sometimes.

I am putting my thoughts down for my fellow moms. It's so easy to feel trapped in your own body and emotions. As moms, we often feel like we have to have our shit together 24/7. Trust me. I am one of those moms. I set the bar extremely high for myself as a working mom of three, as well as staying true to who I am as an individual and sometimes it's taxing. Sometimes it's like we aren't allowed to truly "feel."

It's up to us as moms to find a safe space to let it all out. We owe it to ourselves in order to be the best moms we can be and the best versions of ourselves. Be it over margaritas with a dear friend, on a day trip with your mom or heck, via text, in a social media support group or even in a journal...we have to let our thoughts out. I'm working on it. I hope you will do the same. As moms, we are all in this together. We should be lifting each other up. I encourage you to reach out to a mom friend today and just let her know you are thinking of her.










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