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My Favorite Version of Me

I'm sure that so many moms can relate when I say that it is very hard to remember what life was like before kids. What on earth did I do with all of my spare time? Just the other day, a post from seven years ago said that I was having a "cleaning and catching up on shows kind of day." Really? Okay, the cleaning part hasn't changed and my kids have just come to terms with it. Catching up on shows? Sleeping in? Doing things just because I could? There is one thing that has never changed...I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. Always! There are some things that have changed in my last several years as a mom though and lately I find myself thinking about and realizing just how different I am now compared to then. 

  1. I've realized how important close friends are over having "many" friends. My twenties were filled with the ending of friendships that I thought would last for a lifetime. Some of which I still do not understand in regards to what happened. At that time, I thought my world was ending. Then just like that, in came several new friendships that I wouldn't trade for anything. If you're reading this, you know who you are. The best friendships aren't forced, they just happen. And I wouldn't trade my friends for anything. 
  2. I am a huge grudge holder. I used to be able to let things go. And don't get me wrong, there are smaller instances when I can still do this. But one instance in particular hurt my heart so badly that to this day, I just can't let it go. And when I'm around this person, those feelings always come flooding back. I'm not good at pretending that things didn't happen. This person however is very good at it. Perhaps this newfound part of me comes from fear of someone hurting the feelings of my kids? I really can't explain it, but it's something that I deal with almost daily. 
  3. I realize just how precious time with loved ones is. When I watch my kids run and play in their carefree way, I wish so badly that my Grandpa could be here. He would get the biggest laugh out of the girls and all of Rhylan's stories and theatrics. It hurts my heart that he is not here. At the same time, it really puts into perspective how important it is to make memories while you can, even if it's just an impromptu cookout on a Sunday afternoon; family time is priceless. 
  4. I've come to realize that in order to be the best mom that I can be, I have to do some things for me. I tend to put myself and my needs behind my family's. Instead of letting months pass where my only focuses are home and work, I've realized that every now and then I need to take some time to refresh myself in order to give my family the best version of me. Whether it's going to get a pedicure, dinner with a friend, taking the time to exercise, going on a weekend getaway with the girls.....that time is important in order to refresh myself and my focus. 
  5. I found confidence. I love who I've become. I know that I am a phenomenal mother and wife. I have a job that I am good at and look forward to. These are things that I always aspired for and worked hard to earn. I look back on my youth when I was very insecure and never felt like I was "good enough" by small town standards. The confidence that I have found has lead to happiness and the realization of just how blessed I am. 
  6. Kids are hilarious! I can't remember laughing as much as I do now compared to my former life before kids. There is never a dull moment when I'm around them. Seeing the world through their eyes, watching them interact with their surroundings and each other plus those adorable clumsy moments are the reason why I'm always cracking up.  
  7. There is not nor will there ever be enough hours in the day. I find myself saying "I didn't have time to" or "when I have time" quite often. It's all about the priorities! I will always wish for more time to accomplish things and to spend with my family and friends. As I read the other day, "the days are long, but the years are short." Seems to be fitting, doesn't it?
I don't always like to get this personal when it comes to blogging, but lately as more of life's milestones are happening, I just can't help but reflect on the former me. This version of me however, is my favorite! 

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