Skip to main content

My Favorite Version of Me

I'm sure that so many moms can relate when I say that it is very hard to remember what life was like before kids. What on earth did I do with all of my spare time? Just the other day, a post from seven years ago said that I was having a "cleaning and catching up on shows kind of day." Really? Okay, the cleaning part hasn't changed and my kids have just come to terms with it. Catching up on shows? Sleeping in? Doing things just because I could? There is one thing that has never changed...I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. Always! There are some things that have changed in my last several years as a mom though and lately I find myself thinking about and realizing just how different I am now compared to then. 

  1. I've realized how important close friends are over having "many" friends. My twenties were filled with the ending of friendships that I thought would last for a lifetime. Some of which I still do not understand in regards to what happened. At that time, I thought my world was ending. Then just like that, in came several new friendships that I wouldn't trade for anything. If you're reading this, you know who you are. The best friendships aren't forced, they just happen. And I wouldn't trade my friends for anything. 
  2. I am a huge grudge holder. I used to be able to let things go. And don't get me wrong, there are smaller instances when I can still do this. But one instance in particular hurt my heart so badly that to this day, I just can't let it go. And when I'm around this person, those feelings always come flooding back. I'm not good at pretending that things didn't happen. This person however is very good at it. Perhaps this newfound part of me comes from fear of someone hurting the feelings of my kids? I really can't explain it, but it's something that I deal with almost daily. 
  3. I realize just how precious time with loved ones is. When I watch my kids run and play in their carefree way, I wish so badly that my Grandpa could be here. He would get the biggest laugh out of the girls and all of Rhylan's stories and theatrics. It hurts my heart that he is not here. At the same time, it really puts into perspective how important it is to make memories while you can, even if it's just an impromptu cookout on a Sunday afternoon; family time is priceless. 
  4. I've come to realize that in order to be the best mom that I can be, I have to do some things for me. I tend to put myself and my needs behind my family's. Instead of letting months pass where my only focuses are home and work, I've realized that every now and then I need to take some time to refresh myself in order to give my family the best version of me. Whether it's going to get a pedicure, dinner with a friend, taking the time to exercise, going on a weekend getaway with the girls.....that time is important in order to refresh myself and my focus. 
  5. I found confidence. I love who I've become. I know that I am a phenomenal mother and wife. I have a job that I am good at and look forward to. These are things that I always aspired for and worked hard to earn. I look back on my youth when I was very insecure and never felt like I was "good enough" by small town standards. The confidence that I have found has lead to happiness and the realization of just how blessed I am. 
  6. Kids are hilarious! I can't remember laughing as much as I do now compared to my former life before kids. There is never a dull moment when I'm around them. Seeing the world through their eyes, watching them interact with their surroundings and each other plus those adorable clumsy moments are the reason why I'm always cracking up.  
  7. There is not nor will there ever be enough hours in the day. I find myself saying "I didn't have time to" or "when I have time" quite often. It's all about the priorities! I will always wish for more time to accomplish things and to spend with my family and friends. As I read the other day, "the days are long, but the years are short." Seems to be fitting, doesn't it?
I don't always like to get this personal when it comes to blogging, but lately as more of life's milestones are happening, I just can't help but reflect on the former me. This version of me however, is my favorite! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Are You Sitting Down?

That's the very question, I've asked anyone close to me before breaking our news. So are you sitting down?  Let's go back three days ago - 9:30 in the morning, I confidently walked into my doctor's office to talk about my 2nd pregnancy. I mean what was there to worry about? This isn't my first rodeo, ya know. I was cool, confident and collected. I was 9 weeks and 5 days along. I sat through the routine questions. You know, the ones where they ask you if you do club drugs? I talked to my doctor about what I've been experiencing, including frequent nausea and unbearable fatigue that literally knocks me out by 7:30 pm. I had already gained 8 pounds, which was shocking, because I've been eating well and working out. But the doctor was not concerned with that and said, "Let's take a look at your little one ."  I was so anxious to see that little bean with a flickering heart ever since I got that positive pregnancy test! So this was the moment,...
3 comments
Read more

Shock - Acceptance - Excitement

I really want to share my thoughts during this journey for anyone who may have been in my shoes. And to reassure them that what they are feeling is perfectly normal (at least that's what I tell myself). Everyone handles big news differently. I chose to freak out and panic! Others are more like what you see on TV!  Either way, welcome to our crazy journey!  The next day, I walked into work and decided to let the big news out. I mean anyone walking by my desk must wonder what's going on. What they normally see is a woman who takes pride in her appearance. That day, that got a completely different version of me; makeup-less, sleep deprived and frightened. I'm having (choke) twins!  I decided to show the ultrasound photo of my babies (still getting used to saying and hearing babies). I was immediately swept up in excitement and joy! They could not have been happier for me. This is where I started to feel the tiniest bit better. They were thinking of names and talking a...
2 comments
Read more

What I Learned from Frugal January

While I don't believe in new year resolutions, I do believe in goals, aspirations and dreams. As a society, we're made to feel that with each new year, we must make resolutions, which more often than not, fade by March or set us up for failure. The feeling of failure is never good for the spirit, so a couple of years ago, I decided to stop giving in to that societal pressure. I have found that self-reflection is an excellent place to begin a new year and set realistic goals. This year, I started by challenging myself to what I named Frugal January. It's exactly what it sounds like. I challenged myself to only spend on necessities. I gave up runs to the coffee shop and trips to TJ Maxx. I gave up frivolous, careless and impulse-based spending, no matter how big or small it was. I asked myself one question with every single purchase decision, "do I really need this?" If I could live without it, I declined it. Did this cause me physical pain at times? Yes! There were...
Post a Comment
Read more