Fire

I'm not talking about the kind that burns houses. I'm talking about inner fire. This year I turned thirty-one and and while for some that isn't a significant number, for me it is. Thirty-one represents a year of personal growth for me as a person and professional. There came a day where I just woke up and said to myself....today is the day I start to pursue better. 

I realized that I have spent such a long time just settling for less than and clinging to my comfort zones. The first thing I did was scrap my resume. I ripped it to shreds and spent hours designing a fresh version that reflected who I am and my marketing skillsets. I started making lists of goals. I wanted more out of life, both personally and professionally. I realized that I am too young to get comfortable. I started to pray, something that I definitely didn't do enough in the past. 

The next thing I knew, I found myself walking into Chaddock for interview number one. I went in knowing that I had a great job at the time. What did I have to lose? I knew that I would either be a good fit for the position or I wouldn't be. Regardless I had a job in a field that I enjoy either way. After that first interview, my inner fire got even larger. I wanted that job. Bad. I felt like the job found me in at the right time. 

Interview number two happened and in the moment, I knew I had it. I felt it in my bones that the job was mine. The crazy part? I wasn't even nervous about it. I am currently wrapping up my first week in the position as Marketing Manager at Chaddock and I'm still not nervous. I know what I am capable of as a person and a marketer. I am confident that I can do great things within this organization. I am proud to be a part of an organization that makes a difference in the lives of children and families. Plus the salary and benefits will greatly impact both mine and my family's future. Professional growth is and will continue to be a work in progress. I finally feel like I am in the place to continue on that path.

To combine the professional with the personal growth is my next step. Personally I feel like I have found an inner confidence that I never knew I had. That happens when you decide that you only want what's best and that you deserve it. Don't get me wrong, I've always taken pride in myself, but the day my fire lit was the day I realized that I deserved better in so many different aspects. Doing things for me, would not only make me a better person, but also a better mom for my kids. So I started vowing to do less. 

I know what you are thinking! Do less? What do you mean do less? I decided to stop stretching myself so thin and stop saying yes to everything. I decided to focus on being in the moment; to enjoy more of life. I wanted to spend more time with my kids, who are growing entirely too fast. Life often gets in the way. We fall into the daily grind and I decided that I am sick of it. Life is too short.

I decided to get up earlier and spend a little more time getting myself ready for my day. Taking the time to actually drink that cup of coffee rather than sucking it down on the commute, spending some time choosing what to wear, turning on some music and dancing in front of the mirror as I do my hair and makeup (I'm not afraid to admit that I do that), fixing my kids breakfast, sitting and eating it with them, leaving on time instead of rushing out the door, sipping that evening glass of wine without guilt....all of those things that I rarely took the time to do, I vow to do them now. I can already feel a difference!

I also did something that I have hidden from for years. Rather than only going to the hospital when I feel like death, I got myself a primary care doctor who I will see annually to make sure that I am living my best life by staying healthy. I was terrified of going, but felt so much better after.

Going forward...I vow to make time for the friends and family I rarely get to see even if it means planning it months in advance. I vow to take a little time for myself. I vow to stress a little less (though I know that one is easier said than done at times). I vow to laugh. I vow to love.

I vow to keep this fire burning.