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2023 Taking Care of Me

For me, 2023 has been a year of conquering fears and making lifestyle changes. As parents, how often do we place ourselves on the back burner? It's so common and I am 100% guilty of it. This year, something inside of me clicked. Maybe it's the whole "wisdom with age" thing. Maybe it's finally getting the courage to go to therapy. Perhaps, it's a little bit of both. For me, it happened with a 3-step plan. It's a plan that terrified me, but I held myself accountable and put the plan into action. 

Step 1: Medical Health

January 2023, the 4th to be exact, started with a wellness visit to my primary care doctor. Was I even allowed to refer to her as that when I hadn't paid her a visit since 2018? Yes. 2018. Of course, we had the whole pandemic thing in the mix, but we can only use that excuse for so long. I hadn't had a women's well check since 2018. I was having all kinds of strange symptoms, that I told myself was just the downward spiral to 40 (not true). Additionally, I felt like my migraines were starting to consume my life. 

I felt so much shame walking into that appointment, thinking that I was about to be judged. Anxiety sat on my shoulders convincing me that I was probably going to walk out of there with a crazy diagnosis. Let me start by saying, good doctors don't judge you. They listen. Sometimes you have to cycle through a few of them, before you find the right fit. I'm so thankful to have felt heard for the first time. I started 2023 by finally mustering up the courage to admit to myself that things were off with my body. What I was feeling wasn't normal. It doesn't just "come with age." 

Ultimately I just wanted to feel better. I swallowed my pride, held my head high and literally word vomited all over my doctor. She sat back and let me do so. After some testing, I (finally) received a very long overdue chronic migraine diagnosis and life-changing prescriptions! No more downing bottles of Excedrin Migraine and hoping for the best. No more walking through life with a constant headache hidden behind my smile. In addition, my blood panels came back positive for Hashimoto's Disease. 

Finally...all of the symptoms I had been dealing with for far too long had an explanation.  

Step 2: Mental Health

With step 1 of my plan in motion, I decided to pursue the next one. Ironically, I work for a mental health organization. I'm literally immersed in it! Yet, the thought of actually sitting across from a therapist was something I just couldn't fathom. Even more ironic? As an employee, I have 100% mental health coverage. It's an amazing employee benefit and I finally asked myself, "why wouldn't you take advantage of that?" I know so many people who don't pursue mental healthcare, because of the cost. No more excuses.  So that's what I did, but not until after extensive research into therapists in our area. 

One of my best friends told me that it's important to "date your therapists" until you find the right one. Thankfully the therapist I selected is great. She's kind, close to my age and we just click. I chose her based on her introductory video, which shouldn't come as a surprise given my marketing background. She has a passion for women's health and female issues. She's the perfect fit for me. This bi-weekly experience has really helped me uncover so many layers of my personality, fears, insecurities and goals. It has given me added confidence and the weight it has lifted from my shoulders is incredible. 

And with step 2 underway, the next step is the one that I truly dreaded most. No, really. 

Step 3: Dental Health

This was the step that I truly dreaded most. I have a few truly unpleasant dental memories from my childhood that have really stuck with me. Therapy helped me work through them and also held me accountable to make that first appointment. I like to believe that God had a hand in the dentist I ended up with, because my goodness she is just fabulous. We hit it off right away. I was completely candid with her about how long it had been since I'd had a dental exam and the fears I had. 

What I thought would take at least a year, only took two months of bi-weekly appointments to make the needed repairs to my teeth. I'll admit...it was very unpleasant, but I stayed focused on the end result. Additionally, she even offered to repair my front two teeth. Many don't know that those front two teeth were one of my biggest personal insecurities. I hated them and I truly disliked my smile. 

I can still hear her saying "Crystal I can fix that" and the surprise I felt, because no previous dentist had ever acknowledged it. So here I sit today....completely cavity free with rebuilt front teeth and I could not be more proud. I feel more confident. I'm now obsessed with my dental hygiene and I am happy to be on a dental routine. I still have to have my wisdom teeth extracted, which will not be fun. However, in doing so, I will get to pursue my next dental goal...Invisalign! 

In Closing

I don't know who needs to hear this, but make that appointment. And then make the next one. And the next one. And.....the next one! My one and only regret from this process? Waiting for far too long. Sometimes you have to face the unknown head on. Rip the bandaid. Ultimately I want to be on this planet to drive my kids crazy for as long as possible. Don't we all? It starts with today. 

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