Hold My Earrings

As moms it's important for us to instill in our children the things that we wish we would've had when we were kids. Am I licensed to say that? Absolutely not! Speaking from personal experience though, I find this to be more important as my children enter each new chapter. Where is this thought coming from? Buckle up, because I'm bringing you an experience from none other than little miss Everly. She's our resident drama queen and self-appointed "baby of the family" by a mere twelve minutes after her sister! 

Yesterday was a rare day...one where I actually got to pick my kids up from school. Here in the midwest, winter can be a real (for lack of a bitter word and with cleanliness for little ears in mind) biotch. Our current winter biotch has prevented bus transport to our iced over subdivision. I was thrilled to get the chance to do it. I splurged on a coffee on my ride home, cranked up some tunes and told myself "this is what it's like" to pick your kids up on the regular. I know in the practical part of my mom brain that it is not. However, I chose to make the most of it! 

So there I was. It was just me, Usher and an iced coffee waiting in line. Out come my twins, one of whom does not look happy. In case you're lost among my ramble, it's Everly, the drama queen herself. 

"Everly what is wrong? What happened to you?" 

And then she said it. A boy had made her cry. My inner thoughts were to hold my earrings while mommy goes and beats some first grader butt. However I know that I would never survive jail, orange isn't my color, I really do love kids and they don't have iced coffee there. Therefore, I decided a logical approach would be best. Since the carpool line wasn't moving anytime soon, I whipped around and I said to her, "Everly, you never and I mean never let a boy make you cry." 

"I didn't know what to do Mom. I was the line leader today and XXXX wouldn't let me in front. He kept pushing me back and calling me a line budder, so I cried and told on him." 

What was even more comical is that Emersyn, her twin, needed to know details (or "the tea" as you Gen Z people say). She wanted to know who it was and where it happened. She was going to talk to this kid. I can only imagine what's to come for our twin girls in the future, if this is any indicator. Instead I advised Everly in this way, while hoping that it would also resonate with Emersyn. I reiterated my statement.

"Everly, listen to me. You never and I mean never let a boy make you cry. You turn around, stand confidently and tell him that you are today's line leader and that if he has a problem with it, then to take it up with your teacher. You whip your hair around and take your place in the front of the line. Once he realizes that he's not going to get under your skin, he will feel powerless and back off." 

Everly didn't quite know how to process that, but I hope one day it comes back and helps her. You see, she is a very sensitive soul, much like I was back in my youth. I let people put me down, walk all over me, get into my head and really affect my school experience. If you're reading this and you were one of those who treated me in this way, just know that I forgive you. Thank you for instilling in me the life lessons necessary to teach my children to stand their ground. It's a skill I have now in my adult years, but I do wish I had it while growing up. At the same time, knowing that my kids may experience the same, hurts my heart. 

Everly said that she will try my recommended approach next time. Though because she is my mini-me, I have a feeling the outcome may be the same with the tears. Someday though, she will stand her ground. She will feel empowered. She will own who she is. And that's why this lesson, though seemingly insignificant today, will impact her when the timing is right. 

And with that, I put the hot mess express in drive and headed to our next destination....the middle school to pick up big brother.