Recharge Your Batteries

Fog. It's this thing I've been walking around in for the last couple of weeks. I haven't felt like myself in quite a while. Between the packed schedule at home and the packed schedule at work combined with all of the curveballs added on top, I have been one physically and mentally exhausted subhuman of myself. Last night I made my family go to sleep early; two hours earlier than I normally go to bed to be exact. Let me just tell you! Today, I feel like a new me.

Perhaps it's because this week marks the last ballgame of the season and we will no longer be running to the ball field four nights a week. This week, my work calendar isn't overflowing with meetings. This week, we have a fun weekend to work toward. This week, I finally have time to squeeze in much needed workouts. This week, my meals are planned. This week, even my kids can take a breather. 

The other day, I was so mentally tired that I didn’t even realize I didn’t fully start my car. I put it in reverse and it started to roll back, yet had a weird sound. I thought I was having car trouble, but really it was me who was having trouble functioning. Do you want to know when I truly knew something needed to change and I needed to reset my batteries? It happened on date night last weekend. It felt like while I was there physically, but mentally I was elsewhere. My husband and I were having a conversation and he mentioned someone's name. In that moment, I wracked my brain, because I had no idea who he was talking about. This person is someone we've known for a long time. Why on earth couldn't I recall who that person was? It was in that moment that my inner voice said "holy crap Crystal! You are a wreck and it's time to do something about it.”

The next morning I slept in until my kids woke me up for breakfast. 

This week, childcare has moved to a new location. Starting this week, I will no longer walk into daily chaos. I can unwind from my work day on a drive to pick my kids up. I can go home to an untouched house, the way I left it from the night before. I didn't realize how much that was also weighing on my mental state. 

All the while I've been feeling this way, I somehow managed to put my best face on for my kids and work. Inside though, I was screaming. It can be tough when you have so many people relying on you to find time to just....breathe. Here's the thing, if you don't make that time, you are going to crash. I felt myself on the brink of crashing. In that moment, on the way to date night, it truly hit me. It was time to slow down, take a breath and reset my batteries. 

Whatever you need to do to reset yourself, don't push that need to the back burner. In my case, I needed to sleep. I hadn't fallen into a deep sleep for so long, because I couldn't shut my brain down. I was finally able to do that Sunday and Monday. Also remember, it's okay to say no. We need to stop overflowing our calendars and be in the moment sometimes. Stop. Sip a glass of wine. Play a game with your kids. Watch some mindless television. Go to the gym. Whatever it takes. Reset your batteries.