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Survival Mode

I'm not sure what it is about 2022, but I will tell you this. It has been overbooked, over-scheduled, overwhelming, demanding and short on time. Just when I think I feel a breather coming on, our calendar fills right back up and I find myself longing for time to do nothing....literally! I can't be the only one who feels this way. Don't get me wrong, we've always been active and busy, but this year hits different. I've definitely dropped the ball along way in some areas, but for the most part, I'm proud of the fact that I've managed to keep most of them in the air. 

Lately I have felt added weight to my mental health, unlike anything I've ever felt before. I go to work five days a week where so many depend on me. I go home where so many depend on me. Our 2022 downtime has been allocated to sports and countless engagements. All the while you can find me scanning our calendar looking for gaps. I haven't felt the time to really process certain aspects of this crazy life. I haven't felt the time to really process my emotions. And on the rare occasions that we do have real downtime, I battle the feeling that I've forgotten something or that I need to catch up on the things I've neglected while on the run.

When my husband told me that we get to enjoy a long-overdue date night this Friday, I literally teared up. We haven't had the opportunity to take a real break and really date each other since June. We typically try to squeeze a date night in once a month, however 2022 has had other plans. I'm so thankful that we have the opportunity this weekend. I'm very grateful for family who selflessly offers to watch our kids for us. It's okay to take a step back, throw in the towel and say....I need help. I need a break. I need to breathe. I say that not only because I need the reminder, but also because I know that many other parents need it. 

To the friends and family who I haven't seen or spoken to in what feels like ages, just know it's not intentional. It's definitely not personal. I'm doing my very best. I'm in survival mode this year. And if there is one thing of which I am certain....it's that I don't want the same in 2023. I just want to be. Live. Enjoy. Breathe. I want more time for the things I truly love and that includes time with you! I want more time for downtime. I want less rush. I want less overwhelm. 

Disclaimer: I'm very well aware that the hustle and bustle comes with our current chapter of life, but if this year has taught me anything, it's that it's okay to prioritize and say no to certain obligations. Next year, I will be mindful of that by asking myself "is this in the best interest of my family of 5?" or"will this obligation bring me added stress that can be avoided?" 

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