Hot Mess Mommy Express

I've been struggling with how to put this into words. I know that many moms will be able to relate. I'm talking about the adjustment and transitional phase of your child in school. So let's dive right in... First, let's talk about me. I'm not referring to the "me" that you know as a family member, friend or co-worker. I'm talking about me as a mom. Being a mom brings me the greatest joy. Along with joy, comes times of frustration and moments where you question yourself. Am I doing a good job? Do my kids understand just how much I love them? What else can I do to teach valuable life lessons? In a life full of mom-shamers and a very judgemental society, that tends to hide behind their social media handle or think they can say whatever they want from behind their computer screen, we are often held to the highest of standards. That can be a major pill to swallow.  As a mom, I've always just "done my own thing" and I try not to let society...

I'm taking you way back in this moment....to 1998. It was 3rd grade. I was a new student in a new school. Looking back at age eight, I can still remember how difficult the transition was. Difficult until I met...you. We were inseparable with everything in common. The very best of friends. No one could come between us. We were always in our own little world. We liked it that way.  A friendship of that magnitude could never be broken. We grew up together, making memories, with endless laughter, endless conversation and an incredible bond. We were soul mates. It came as no surprise when we were voted "Longest Friendship" by our Senior class. And even less surprising that we decided to go to the same college. We were there for each other's milestones and firsts, highs and lows and when I looked ahead at life ahead, I always saw you by my side. It's been almost 7 years since our friendship came crashing down. I was devastated. Broken. And couldn't understan...

Today's the day. It's the day I've long avoided ever since that March day in 2014 when I learned that not only was I expecting twins, but I also had to part with my beautiful, pearly white Toyota Prius. Now anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely adored that car. Actually "adored" isn't the right word. I was obsessed with my Prius. Call me materialistic. You know what? I am in some ways, but aren't we all?  I left the hospital on that day determined to avoid the minivan. I mean hip moms don't drive minivans, right? Fast forward to a few weeks later when we drove home in our brand new SUV. I wasn't excited to drive that sucker home, even if it was shiny and had new car smell. It wasn't my Prius. It solved the space problem though, or so I thought. That is until our babies actually came, along with all of the STUFF that babies require to leave the house. We quickly learned that the SUV, wasn't going to cut it. Thankfully we leased it....

My child ate a poptart today......I know! A freaking poptart! How on earth can I let my child eat something so terrible? I know it's not "organic" or "whole grain" or "all natural", but you know what? I'm normal. Some days I just don't have it in me to make a nutritious breakfast. And when you have a picky eater like my five year old, you're just thankful he is getting something in his stomach before school.  I know that this popular toaster pastry isn’t exactly packed with vitamins and nutrients. However, I didn’t realize that you are better off skipping breakfast altogether than downing one as you dash out the door. Why does society have to find such a problem with each and every food item that we consume? And why are we all so worried about what every mom is feeding her child? Stop showing me articles that are swirling around on social media that break down various foods and why you shouldn't eat them. I get it! I know what...

There's absolutely nothing that can compare to snuggling not one but two newborns on your chest as they sleep. And lately I find myself missing that aspect of being a twin mom. As I watch you two run around like crazy, carry on conversations, dance, laugh and play, I can't help but think to myself "Did I really cherish those moments enough?" or "Was I too busy and overwhelmed to realize that they were flying by?" Lately among the chaos that is our world today, I long for those moments again.  I can still feel the warmth of two babies snuggled up together on my chest. I can still smell that sweet baby smell of your fuzzy little heads. I remember being unable to move, because I didn't want to wake you and worried that if I did move, that I may lose my grip. I wish that I would've held you just a little bit longer and really taken those moments in. Before I knew it, you became little people.  I see you; two little people with personalities and opini...

And just like that, my sweet girls are two years old! And while it's been a month since we celebrated, I can't help but still struggle to wrap my head around the fact that you are no longer "babies". Of course, I always tell you that you'll be my babies forever and ever, but you really are transforming each and everyday into little individuals. You now have opinions. You can physically tell me through words what you want and need. You're potty training! How did this happen?  For a Party Planning Momma, it's all in the details! Let's relive your special birthday party! We kept it small and intimate this year, so that you were surrounded by those who you are closest too. It was absolutely perfect! There were a few people missing that we wish could've joined us, but you are without a doubt so loved!  Because your current obsession is Mickey and Minnie Mouse, it was a given that we would choose that theme for your party! So we gave you your...

"The greatest happiness is family happiness." I can think back to the day when Rhylan was old enough to comprehend that Mommy and Daddy have to go to work and he wondered why. There are days when my girls cry, like today, because they don't understand why they can't go "buh bye" with Mommy. Just know that as I watched you both slide your sandals on with your pajamas, my heart hurt. I wish I could take you with me. There are those days when I wonder if I'm missing out. Do you miss me when I'm gone? Just know that while I'm working away to provide for our family, that I miss you all every single minute. Also know that you are the motivation behind everything that I do.  Unlike Rhylan, who I was able to stay home with for a year, you girls have never really known a time when I stayed home. I went back to work when you were three months old and saved for the entire pregnancy to be able to do that. It was tough, money was tight and I wonder...