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Shock - Acceptance - Excitement

I really want to share my thoughts during this journey for anyone who may have been in my shoes. And to reassure them that what they are feeling is perfectly normal (at least that's what I tell myself). Everyone handles big news differently. I chose to freak out and panic! Others are more like what you see on TV! Either way, welcome to our crazy journey! 

The next day, I walked into work and decided to let the big news out. I mean anyone walking by my desk must wonder what's going on. What they normally see is a woman who takes pride in her appearance. That day, that got a completely different version of me; makeup-less, sleep deprived and frightened. I'm having (choke) twins! 

I decided to show the ultrasound photo of my babies (still getting used to saying and hearing babies). I was immediately swept up in excitement and joy! They could not have been happier for me. This is where I started to feel the tiniest bit better. They were thinking of names and talking about ideas and wondering if they could be identical, different genders and if they will be as cute at Rhylan! 

At one point, my mom asked me "Are you even happy about this pregnancy?" This really hit me hard. I mean how selfish was I? There are people who cannot have children and people who struggle to have children. We weren't even trying and were given TWO babies! TWO BABIES! This was a reality check for me. I had to head into phase two - acceptance. 

One of the best therapies was Pinterest! Holy Twin Cuteness! And wow, they make amazing stuff for people with twins. Seeing the adorable pictures of newborn twins, the cutest coordinating clothes and the list goes on and on. It was the perfect escape and I found myself starting to get to phase three - excitement! 

One conversation turned everything around for me and I don't even think this person realizes what she said to really help me get to phase three. She looked at me and said, "What you are feeling is completely normal. Soon that shock will turn into acceptance, which will grow into excitement." She was right. It IS okay to feel the way I feel. But at the same time, I am so lucky to have these new babies, even if I am scared of raising two at the same time. 

Everything happens for a reason, right?

Rhylan has said that he is going to have two sisters! There's a chance to know on March 31st at our next ultrasound. All I can say is that this mommy needs a daughter. This could be my last chance! But of course, I will take and love them either way!

By Wednesday and Thursday, I was able to get up, hold my head high, get myself together and say I'm having twins (without choking)! 

I'm having TWINS! 

Comments

  1. UnknownMarch 7, 2014 at 2:17 PM

    I think I'm in a vast majority to have so many friends with twins. Like a TON of my friends have been blessed with twins lately! And you know what? Not a one of them was expecting it, they all worried if they could afford it, if their house was big enough and if it was time to get a van - but somehow, they all continue to survive. They all found ways to make it work for them - just like you will - and they are some of the happiest, yes, tired, people I know. Embrace it. It really is a blessing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownMarch 7, 2014 at 2:18 PM

    **vast minority**

    ReplyDelete

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