Hot Mess Mommy Express

My first baby turned four....FOUR! How on earth does that happen in what feels like the blink of an eye? It made me realize that my little babies will before I know it, grow up just like my first born. It really puts things into perspective when you celebrate another birthday. It reopened my eyes to the fact that you only get those first couple years, the baby years, one time. I try my best to take everything in, take videos and pictures and hold all three of my kids close. Sometimes, I just drop everything and hold them, granted my four year old is hard to catch these days.  Talk about tugging the heart strings! Last night after I put the babies down for the night, we decided to sit on the couch and watch Rhylan's baby videos from his first year. We want to make it a tradition! Not long into the video, we noticed that Rhylan had tears streaming down his face. When asked what was wrong, he responded with "I can't be that little again." and the tears continued to flo

This has been weighing on my mind for over eight weeks now. I'm not sure how to get past it or if I ever will. At least once a day, the emotions that I felt in that moment come flooding back. I see his face and the hurt in his eyes. I see the spirit and excitement draining from his face. I feel that pit in my stomach every time I think about it and from time to time, I find myself holding back the tears.  I don't think this person realizes the amount of hurt that they brought into such a joyous occasion. And to act like nothing happened makes it hurt even worse. I will never forget how that felt and it will always be a memory. I don't know how we're supposed to forgive and forget or if we ever will. But I know that my feelings toward this person will never be the same.  You can't take back the things that were said and I wish you would've been understanding of where we were coming from and supportive of our decisions. Instead you decided to lash out via text

If I haven't been on the blog for quite some time, it's because these sweet little girls (and four year old too) are keeping me busy! And I wouldn't have it any other way. These last 12 weeks have been unbelievably amazing! I cannot believe that after this month, I will be returning to my full-time job. It's a mixed emotion feeling, because being with my kids each and every day is wonderful! At the same time, we are a two income family and I wish that we could afford for me to be a stay-at-home mom, but that is just not going to happen. Plus, I am so proud of the fact that we work hard for everything that we have.  I'd be lying if I said that our funds are not super tight right now. In a way, it makes me a bit eager to return to work. It will be nice to have the financial stability again. I know that there are a lot of one income families out there and my props go out to you for making it work! At the same time, not working makes me miss adult interaction and the

This blog is a bit of a rant, so if you don't like that, I'd recommend that you do not continue. It's some thoughts that I just need to get off of my chest and I hope they can be an eye opener for some that really need to broaden their perspective.  My sister and I went out of town to Christmas shop yesterday, which was a great day and a much needed escape from my house. Granted, I didn't mark a single person off of my shopping list! How does that happen? I still have a long road of holiday shopping ahead of me! I love this time of year, so I don't mind! What I do mind is the absolute ignorance of much of the general public when they spot a multiple mom with her kids. I cannot wrap my head around why it's such a spectacle that must be commented on. Why are some people so negative and rude? I just want to be able to go out to eat, walk through the mall and keep to myself without any awful comments.  I absolutely love those that are kind and congratulat

I've been thinking a lot lately about the society that we live in and how everyone is so incredibly focused on their cell phones, tablets, computers, email and social media in general. What did we do before Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and before smart phones? Sometimes I stop and look at my kids and think about how many moments we miss out on, because we are always looking down at our phones for a notification or staring at the computer for Facebook notifications. I'm even contradicting myself by sitting here writing this blog.  Having added twins to my family, I find that I don't have as much time for social media, which I consider a good thing. When someone says, "Hey did you see that about so and so on Facebook?" My response is usually no. And to be honest, I am proud of that. Sometimes I really do wish that we could go back in time before smart phones, before instant gratification and back to the time when we had to physically speak to someone to get to kn

Seven pounds stand between me and my pre-pregnancy weight! It's hard to believe that I had my six week postpartum doctor visit already. I feel like I blinked and suddenly my girls are growing and I am feeling like me again. I'm cleared for exercise and I am so anxious to get myself back into the gym! Getting out of the house when you're juggling twins plus a three year old is definitely a challenge, but I will make it work or exercise at home. I'm not sure why this pregnancy was so different (aside from the fact that it was a twin pregnancy). After I had my son, I really had to bust my bootie to lose the weight and then some! I thought once I got pregnant with twins, that it would be twice as hard. I feel incredibly blessed to have gotten back into my clothes so incredibly fast. I felt like everything I took in while pregnant went straight to the twins! That and I stayed as active as possible throughout the 39 weeks that I carried my babies.  I really encourage anyo

We haven't been out very much, but when we do, the comments and statements start to come! The general public acts like twins are such a spectacle! So here is some of what I've heard thus far. Enjoy!  AWWWWWW TWINNNNSSSSS!!!!  We hear this one a lot!  Do twins run in your family?  Yes, yes, a thousand times YES! Will they be identical? Obviously if they are not identical at birth, then they will not all of a sudden change to identical. Think people!  I couldn't do it.  If you were given two babies, I'm pretty sure you would DO IT!  Glad it's you and not me.  I'm glad it's me and not you as well. Goodness! Don't have anymore children. After all, how are you going to juggle three babies?  Thanks a lot lady in Gordmans for this ignorant statement.  You sure have your hands full.  To which I respond with yes, I'm truly blessed.  Wow! Someone's awfully busy! I sure am and I wouldn't have it any other way. AWWWWW what are t

Our sweet baby girls are one month old! You always hear other parents say how fast the time flies and it's definitely true! This has been the fastest month of our lives. The adjustment has been very smooth. It's as if we were made for this experience! Emersyn and Everly are such wonderful babies. I must brag a little bit! Perhaps it's because they sleep together, but our nights have been very smooth. They sleep in 2-4 hour increments, which means that this mommy gets some rest in between feedings. They are super cuddly, wonderful little eaters. As they are starting to fill out, they are starting to look more alike. I find myself having to do a double take here and there just to see which baby I am holding. They have both surpassed their birth weights and are very happy, healthy girls. Nursing is going very well. I will admit that nursing twins was probably my biggest fear with bringing the babies home. Once the painful, adjustment part ended, it has been a breeze. We&

We've officially made it through our first week as twin parents! I thought bringing these two bundles home was going to be the challenge of a lifetime! I built it up in my head as an image of me covered in spit up, both babies screaming and me, their mom, unable to keep up! All I've heard over the last 9 months is how challenging and hard it's going to be or how I'm going to have my hands full.  Well, I don't know if it's because I've already raised one baby or call it my motherly instinct, but this transition has been absolutely wonderful! I'd be lying if I haven't had a few good cries over this last week. After all, when your family jumps to five as quickly as ours did, it can definitely be overwhelming! But I really feel like we were made to care for these twin girls and big brother. I still feel like me, but with so much more love! I look at my two new girls and all I can feel is an overwhelming sense of love, joy and amazement at the fact th

Can I even put into words how amazing this experience has been? September 19th at 6 a.m., my husband and I walked into the hospital knowing that our lives were about to drastically change! A nervous pit inside my stomach, I walked into the unit ready for the challenge of bringing two precious girls into the world.  As of my last Monday appointment, I was 4-5 cm dilated, 100% effaced and my water was on the verge of breaking. My doctor knew how important it was to me that I go into labor on my own. It was an experience that never happened with my first pregnancy, so she gave me until Friday. It took the nurses a couple of hours to get me prepped and ready to go. At 8:03 a.m., my doctor broke my water. Let me just say (while sparing the gory details) that my water breaking was probably the grossest experience! But the good thing was that my disgust brought some comic relief to the room.  Not long after my water was broken, the contractions started to come on strong. I couldn'

Needless to say, 2014 has been a whirlwind experience starting on that morning in March when our whole world was rocked with the news that twins were in our future. As I approach the end of this pregnancy, I just want to say thank you to so many!  My wonderful husband Michael, who is the rock that keeps me sane. I'm sure I've driven him crazy over the past 9 months and he has handled it so well. I couldn't imagine a better man to stand by my side and be the father to our children. I'm sure he will never forget the shock that we experienced on the day the doctor found two babies and the level five meltdown that his wife who "always has it together" had. I will never forget the expression on his face! I can't wait to see how he acts with two daughters in our family!  My Mom, who is my best friend and who has been nothing but supportive of me and my family. Being a grandma brings her an incredible amount of joy and she is an amazing one at that! She w

Babies Are The Size Of:  We had a growth ultrasound on Monday and Baby A is measuring 7 lbs 4 oz  and Baby B is measuring 6 lbs 7 oz. This can vary by around 14 oz, so it's hard to say exact until they get here, but it's an estimate. Both girls are healthy and that's what matters!  Maternity Clothes:  Tops are getting to be too small!   Stretch Marks:  I've been incredibly fortunate to only have the same stretch marks resurface from my first pregnancy. Hoping they will fade away like last time eventually! Sleep:  Last night was definitely rough! I contracted off and on throughout the night and once I finally did fall asleep, we had severe weather alerts going off on our phones, Rhylan was convinced that there was a monster in his room and then rolled out of his bed later. Ugh!  Belly Button:  Major poking! Makes me laugh! Feeling:  Oh so very tired! Very crampy as well as contracting off and on throughout the day. Symptoms:  My rib pain has subsided as the gir

Babies Are The Size Of:  We have another growth ultrasound on Monday! Curious as to how much they've grown in a month!   Maternity Clothes:  So over it!  Stretch Marks:  Getting worse! I'm seriously stretched to the max! Sleep:  It's getting very tough. I wake up with painful contractions off and on nightly, but nothing that stays regular. Acid Reflux makes me feel like I'm going to get sick while laying down as well.  Belly Button:  It's definitely poking out!  Feeling:  So so so tired, but I just keep going!  Symptoms:  Contracting a lot more often and they are more painful. Dealing with awful pains at the top of my stomach that feel like a huge bruise, rib pains and still having shooting pains down there. I can also feel a head in place, which makes it very uncomfortable to lay down or walk.  Missing Anything? Not having to spend every Monday afternoon at the hospital and not having constant hospital bills.  Movement: Big movements, some of which caus

Babies Are The Size Of:  We won't have another growth ultrasound until week 37, but as of right now, we are assuming that they are in the 5+ pound range.  Maternity Clothes: Shopping is depressing seeing all of the cute new fashion and the fact that it's going to be a while before I'm in it!  Stretch Marks:  Nothing new! Sleep:  Though I'm uncomfortable, I'm definitely sleeping more lately. Must be my body gearing up to bring these girls into the world! Belly Button:  Very much out there!  Feeling:  Exhausted. I feel like it's showing more on my face now too. I'm just so. darn. tired. Working full-time, taking care of a 3 year old, maintaining my house plus growing twins is taking its toll! The doctor's office is surprised that I'm still working!  Symptoms:  Contracting on a more regular basis now. I'm supposed to go in when they start coming 6-8 minutes apart. This rib pain is seriously throwing me up out of my desk chair from time to

Being so close to the end of this pregnancy has brought a lot of apprehension. I've been incredibly blessed throughout this entire experience to have a relatively easy pregnancy which has been free of complications. Of course anyone would be apprehensive when bringing in not just one, but two lives into the world. It's incredibly frightening to think that I'm going to be responsible for the needs of two infants at the same time. I know that I am up to the task, otherwise God would not have chosen us to take this on.  But there are a few pregnancy closing aspects that I am so worried about. What if my body doesn't go into labor on its own and I carry these girls to 38+ weeks? They are already decent sized and are supposed to gain 1/2 lb per week each! My first pregnancy has left me so worried, because I just never went into labor. I carried for two weeks past my due date! I went in for a scheduled induction and never actually needed pitocin, which was a relief. One lit

Babies Are The Size Of:  Both girls are in the healthy 5 pound range!  Maternity Clothes:  I'm starting to get over the maternity wardrobe and cannot wait to work myself back into regular clothes! Stretch Marks:  Nothing new on that front.  Sleep:  Definitely not sleeping well anymore.  Belly Button:  Outie/Non-Existent Feeling:  Incredibly tired! By the time I get off of work, I'm exhausted and don't want to do anything but rest.  Symptoms:  This rib pain is getting to be a lot to handle and my doctor says that it's just something that I have to power through and that it will go away with delivery. I'm getting waves of nausea the further along that I get, which is odd, because I didn't have it throughout the rest of the pregnancy. Add those two things to cramps, acid reflux, back pain, leg circulation problems and exhaustion. I'd be lying if I said at this point that twin pregnancy is a "walk in the park".  Missing Anything? Energy Mov

Babies Are The Size Of: Believe it or not, this momma is rocking 10 lbs of babies! Baby A is 5 lbs 2 oz and Baby B is 4 lbs 13 oz. We have two healthy girls and couldn't be more thrilled! It is very reassuring that low birth weight won't be an issue.  Maternity Clothes:  Some of my tops are becoming too small! But I WILL NOT buy more! I'm too close to the end, so I will work with what I can! Stretch Marks:  Some of the stretch marks from my first pregnancy are reappearing. But I was still bigger overall with Rhylan, so I'm counting my blessings!  Sleep:  Lots of tossing and turning and waking up at this point. Practice maybe?  Belly Button:  Outie Feeling: I'm very tired often, which made sense once I realized that my girls weigh 10 lbs together! Did I mention excruciating rib pain? I'm not sure what a cracked rib feels like, but what I'm dealing with has to be close! OUCH! Symptoms:  Rib pains on the right side, acid reflux, tiredness, shortness o

Babies Are The Size Of:  We find out weights on August 11th. But I'm guessing approaching the 4 pound mark!  Maternity Clothes:  Dresses, capris, shorts and tanks!  Stretch Marks: I have been pretty fortunate thus far, especially with twins! I was actually bigger with my first pregnancy believe it or not! Some of the stretch marks from my first pregnancy are reappearing.  Sleep:  I've really been struggling with heartburn/acid reflux which is due to everything getting cramped and causing my stomach to push acid back into my esophagus. So sleeping hasn't been great this last week! Braxton Hicks wake me as well.  Belly Button:  Outie Feeling:  I'm really starting to slow down. My belly is getting very heavy feeling, I'm super tired and get really short of breath.  Symptoms:  Rib pains on the right side, ankle pain, tiredness, shortness of breath, Braxton Hicks, overall exhausted!  Missing Anything? My regular wardrobe and getting to purchase cute clothes! 

Before my appointment yesterday, I had convinced myself that I was going to have a scheduled c-section with these little lovelies! However, they completely surprised me as well as my doctor. Both babies are in the perfect head down position. My doctor said that if they continue for the next couple weeks, then she will cancel the scheduled c-section date with hopes of a natural birth!  They did so great yesterday as far as cooperating for the tests and of course made for one thrilled mom to see them both in perfect position! They were both side by side, head down with their little legs crossed, like mirror images. Let's hope that it continues. The further along I get, the harder it is for them to maneuver. So them being head down at this point is a great sign!  I can't pray and hope enough that they decide to come on their own. I really hope that it happens that way! My pregnancy with Rhylan has left me nervous, because I never thought he would come and I carried him for two

It seems like just yesterday that we announced our twin pregnancy and shocked our family and friends. Now approaching 32 weeks as of Wednesday, I am grasping the fact that we are officially on the home stretch of this twin pregnancy. We actually have a hard deadline for if the girls do not come on their own. However, we've chosen to keep this date under wraps for two reasons. First, we really hope that they choose to come on their own. Second, we don't want anyone to know when we are in the hospital having these girls. This is our last pregnancy experience and we truly want to take it all in and focus on bringing two healthy girls into the world without outside distractions.  We are officially ready for them whenever they decide to come. Their room is fully stocked, set up and ready to go! They officially have a place to eat and sleep whenever they arrive. It's hard to believe how far we've come. My doctor said that most of her twins come on their own around 36 weeks

Babies Are The Size Of:  We find out weights on August 11th. But I'm guessing approaching the 4 pound mark!  Maternity Clothes:  Dresses, capris, shorts and tanks!  Stretch Marks:  Not too many that are noticeable. But I still have time!  Sleep:  I've had a few really deep nights of sleep! I don't know if it's my body's way of gearing up for this experience, but it's nice!  Belly Button:  Outie Feeling:  I'm really starting to slow down (as stubborn as I am). My belly is getting very heavy feeling, I'm super tired and get really short of breath. Also loving this mild summer we've had. Super thankful for that!  Symptoms:  Rib pains on the right side, tiredness, shortness of breath and those lovely, Braxton Hicks contractions usually 6 or more times a day! Feeling really heavy overall.  Missing Anything? Being able to clean my house at my Crystal rate of speed! Now it takes me so much longer, because I get really tired or my feet swell.  Mo

Babies Are The Size Of:  Over 3 lbs each! We won't know the new weights until our next growth ultrasound in two weeks.  Maternity Clothes:  Dresses, capris, shorts and tanks!  Stretch Marks:  In the beginning stages, but doing pretty well for 30 weeks with two! Sleep:  Not sleeping very well anymore. I always feel like I'm crushing one of the babies and it's getting hard to maneuver, roll over and get comfortable. Plus having a 3 year old snuggling up to you makes it even more difficult!  Belly Button:  Outie Feeling:  My energy levels are dropping, but I'm still going even if it's slowly but surely! Symptoms:  Rib pains on the right side, tiredness, shortness of breath and those lovely, Braxton Hicks contractions usually 6 or more times a day! Missing Anything?  Really wanting a caesar salad, but can't because it contains raw eggs. Coffee smells good again and I can't wait to have my morning cups in the coming months! Movement: These little girl

This is a shout out to everyone who made our first baby shower so wonderful! My girls are so lucky to have so many people that already love them! We are truly blessed to have family and friends who have been so incredibly generous and thoughtful. We definitely don't expect a lot and we are just blown away!  Thank you to my Mom, Sister and Aunt Cathy for working together on such an amazing shower and to everyone who came to celebrate! It was small with close friends and family and I wouldn't want it any other way. One thing is for sure; my girls are going to be little fashionistas and we will never have a shortage of hair bows! And anyone who knows me, knows my obsession with Baby Magic soaps and lotion! I'm pretty sure we are now stocked up for years! After the shower, we feel so much more prepared and have a good idea of what is left to purchase before the girls arrive. We are so close to being ready!    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  From the bottom of

Babies Are The Size Of:  Baby A weighs 3 lbs 6 oz and Baby B weighs 2 lbs 13 oz! Can't believe I have six pounds of babies in there!  Maternity Clothes:  Dresses, capris, shorts and tanks! Love them!  Stretch Marks:  In the beginning stages! Unfortunately the odds of making it through a twin pregnancy stretch mark free are pretty slim! But in my opinion, they are more than worth it!  Sleep:  Lots of tossing and turning and getting comfortable is a struggle. Feeling tired more often than not. And I've been awakened by horrible leg cramps! Ouch! Belly Button:  Outie Feeling:  Sleepy and excited at the same time!  Symptoms:  Rib pains on the right side, tiredness, shortness of breath and those lovely, unpredictably Braxton Hicks just keep on coming from day to day! Missing Anything?  Did I mention that Lime-a-Ritas now come in glass bottles? Missing my favorite summer cocktails for sure!  Movement:  Moving all of the time and it's fun to watch my belly going crazy!