Hot Mess Mommy Express

Today started with one of those  mornings. Things actually started out on a positive note. The kids woke up with smiling faces, willingly got out of bed, laughed and chatted through breakfast and had this momma beaming with joy. However sometimes moments like this are a prequel to something crazy that's about to happen. Do you know what I mean? It's like the second you think to yourself, "my kids are so sweet this morning. I'm totally rocking the mom thing," one of them decides to test your limits. A blissful morning came crashing down, literally over a pair of boots and a certain little five year old who decided she didn't want to get her shoes on when it came time to load up and head to school. We fought about it. I tried every negotiation tactic. She wasn't having it. She kept her foot flexed, refused to put it inside the boot and refused to listen to me. Maybe it was pent up stress from bottling up other things. Perhaps it was because I knew we were

There's just something about parent teacher conferences that make me so gosh darn emotional. Do you ever feel like you're about to burst into tears when talking to your children's teachers? I do for some reason, but it's not a negative cry. I'm just so proud of them, which is also combined with the feeling of "Holy crap! My kids are growing up way too fast!" This week we had three amazing parent teacher conferences for three incredible kiddos that I'm blessed to call mine. It just goes to show the difference it makes to feel supported by school staff and teachers. We haven't always felt that way, especially with our son who has had his share of struggles over the past few years. It made my heart explode to finally have a teacher say how much she appreciates him and how much progress he's made. In regards to the twins, their teachers have always been phenomenal, but this year is a little different. Instead of seeing them as a set of twins, t

Fog. It's this thing I've been walking around in for the last couple of weeks. I haven't felt like myself in quite a while. Between the packed schedule at home and the packed schedule at work combined with all of the curveballs added on top, I have been one physically and mentally exhausted subhuman of myself. Last night I made my family go to sleep early; two hours earlier than I normally go to bed to be exact. Let me just tell you! Today, I feel like a new me. Perhaps it's because this week marks the last ballgame of the season and we will no longer be running to the ball field four nights a week. This week, my work calendar isn't overflowing with meetings. This week, we have a fun weekend to work toward. This week, I finally have time to squeeze in much needed workouts. This week, my meals are planned. This week, even my kids can take a breather.  The other day, I was so mentally tired that I didn’t even realize I didn’t fully start my car. I put it in re

7 years ago, we purchased our current home and a new chapter unfolded. We entered our home having one child, barely two years old, completely different jobs and a positive outlook on what our future would hold on Hanley Road.... Doesn't that sound magical? Well, there's a twist to this story! Enter the red couch. Salsa red. Yep! The me 7 years ago wanted to make a statement and so I pranced (yes pranced) into the furniture store and said "yep! I'll take that one!" Here's the thing....current me absolutely hates it, yet I have been stuck with it, because well...let's face it. Couches aren't exactly disposable or interchangeable. They're pretty expensive! Plus there was that time we had twins, that time we had what felt like forty-five medical bills, that time we needed a new car, that time this or that needed replaced....life. When it comes to taking care of your family, it's all about priorities. Do you feel me? That red couch has remained

When you get that phone call....from the PTO asking if you would like to be head room parent for your son's classroom. Here's the thing. I would absolutely LOVE to do that. Turning it down absolutely killed me, but here's the thing. If I can't be all in, then I'm not willing. That's my mantra with most things. Sometimes it's hard not to feel that little twinge of mom guilt. At the same time, I have to keep my focus on my family's needs, our family calendar, my full-time career goals and make room for some self care in the crazy mix that is my life.  When 2019 started, I wrote down my personal resolutions, one of which was to start saying no. How often do we overload our plates by  agreeing to things before we fully think them through? How many times have we maxed our budgets by saying "count us in" when friends and family invite you to things? How many mental breakdowns have we had, because we've taken on too much? Here's the thing mo

"I'll just make a quick run up town on my lunch break for the last things on my birthday party list."  When you are throwing a birthday bash, regardless of how prepared you are, how many lists you've made, how many items you've crafted and how many RSVP's you've calculated, it always comes down to the last list of random items to complete the vision. In this case, we're throwing a circus themed party! I'm very excited about it as it ties in well with the girls' latest love of The Greatest Showman. I want to take you moms along on the whirlwind lunch hour that consisted of those last little tidbits. I swear this kind of thing always happens to me. In our family, we call it "Epley Luck" and I'm sure you have your own name for the ironic moments that I'm about to share with you. When all else fails, you just have to make humor of these kinds of situations. So let's dive in! First, let's start with the smoldering he

"Mom, he's pushing me." "Mom, she won't get out of my room." "Mom, they are irritating me!" "Mooooooommmmmm!" Isn't if funny how our kiddos can push us to the absolute brink of insanity? I find my inner thoughts saying, "Okay Crystal. Today's the day you finally go crazy. It's happening." Yet, when I'm away from those stinkers, I long to be around that chaos. I truly enjoy going to work. I know....right? That's nuts, but I do. Yet early afternoon rolls around and I find myself counting down to quitting time, so I can go home and just hug all three of them. Even though 90% of the time between siblings (in my house anyway) is spent seeing what they can do to push each other's buttons, there are sometimes these sweet moments of peace and playtime. Those moments where despite the bickering and the tattling to mom, you can truly see that they love each other. My favorites are when I'm just sitti

Most days I feel like I've been on a whirlwind adventure before I even make it into the office! It's here. I've lived in denial, but now I can't escape it. Back to school. I feel like I'm among a select few of the moms who dread back-to-school time. Lately when I talk to other parents, they are excited for school to start. They are anticipating empty houses, routines, activities and milestones. And while I appreciate those things as well, I am just not ready for the demands that come with back to school. Seriously, I get so much anxiety thinking about it. Back to school brings added chaos to our already chaotic life. While some enjoy an empty home, mine becomes like Grand Central Station. Don't get me wrong, I am so very thankful for the help and support of family and the ability to have my kids in their care. It's just very tough going to work for eight hours and coming home to a home that has been very well lived in while I'm away. Back to schoo

When asked what I was doing for my birthday, I thought back to the days when my plans involved going out on the town or out to a fancy dinner, but not this year! You could find me at the ball field, cheering on my son, cooler bag on my hip, camera on the other hip and a potentially spiked beverage, because it was my birthday after all. When did that become my version of being a rebel? Here's the thing...I wouldn't have had it any other way. Mom life is the majority of who I am at this point and I'm doing my best to soak up all of the time we have together as it's already flying by. Most of my social media indicates that I'm "embracing the 30's," which is still true as I'm only 32, but there are some valuable life lessons that I've learned in my 30's thus far. The 30's have been a time of true self-discovery for me; a time when I'm still realizing my own potential. I've learned to see myself as more than "their mom" t

I'm totally recycling this idea from another blogger, because I feel like we've all had those reflective moments in life where we wish we had known what we know now. It's called life experience and the 20 year old me had just barely begun. I would've been halfway through college and didn't have any true responsibilities just yet. As long as I maintained that GPA, remembered my dance choreography and made it to my waitressing shifts on time, I was golden.  Sometimes I think to myself "boy oh boy did I take those days for granted." Sometimes adult life can really slap you in the face. I've definitely had my share of that. At the same time, I always pull through. I'm stronger than I realized I could ever be at age 20. If I could go back and (in the words of Brad Paisley's song) "write a letter to me," there are some key things I'd tell that girl. In no particular order, here they are: 1. Travel and see as much of the world as

Today I looked in the mirror and thought "good grief my eyes look so tired today." It's one of those days where there's just not enough concealer and you need that second or third cup of coffee. Most of my blogs are typically silly and about rocking the mom life. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love it and wouldn't change it for the world. But we are all human and there are just certain things that can start to eat at you when kept within. Sometimes when you hold your emotions in, because you literally can't let it out in front of your littles, it can make you feel like you are going to explode. It can make you freaking crazy. In those moments, I tend to take mine and channel them into a good sweat. But sometimes we just need to talk things out. One of the toughest aspects of my current stage of mom life is when you have something on your heart. Whether you are dealing with some crazy emotions, someone you care about has hurt your feelings, you've

I once thought "minivan moms" were a certain kind of mom and by golly I was bound and determined that I wouldn't be one of them. Truth is, minivan moms can encompass any type of mom. Of course you have the "soccer moms" and the moms with a lot of kiddos in tow, but let's not forget the rest of us. From the hot mess moms, to corporate moms, to stay-at-home moms, to the mom who looks super glam at drop off, to the mom rocking the yoga pants, we can all rock the minivan in our own ways. It hit me that it's been two and half years since we signed the papers and brought home what I like to call our "hot mess express." I avoided it for years. I declared loudly and proudly that I would never drive a minivan. I was going to be an SUV mom. That is until I quickly learned what a royal pain in the ass the third row seating can be. I watched my then four year old struggle daily to climb back there. Half the time I couldn't tell if he was properly

Okay call me crazy here would you? Am I the only one who finds it completely annoying for another mom to invite the entire class to a birthday party? I'm barely getting my feet wet in the world of birthday parties, but I've always been a big believer in surrounding my kids with their closest friends and family to celebrate each birthday. Plus, inviting 16 preschoolers to my daughters' birthday party sounds miserable if you ask me! I'm laughing as I type this! I mean don't get me wrong. I absolutely love kids. I do. But there is a certain level of chaos that comes with that many kiddos crammed into one place. You have the kids whose parents will let them run wild. You have the kids who feel left out. You have the kids who try to steal the attention. And let's be honest...you also have the other moms, some of which aren't always relatable. Did I say that in a kind enough fashion? I'm torn on the latest birthday invite, because this particular mothe

Disclaimer: This my friends is a momma rant, so if that's not your thing, then I'd suggest you stop reading now.  Do you ever feel like our kids are getting in trouble for the most random of things anymore? A fellow mom friend of mine once asked me what type of school my son attended, because I was constantly sharing with her the latest escapades that I was dealing with. My phone would ring a couple times a week and the principal would be on the line to fill me on what my son "did" and why he was in trouble yet again.  Looking back on my childhood, I can remember myself and my friends, being silly, talking too much, doing things that weren't the smartest and even the boys just being "boys" throughout the day. We may have been reprimanded a time or two, but it seems like kids can barely even blink without being sent to the office or given a referral for doing so incorrectly. Do you know what I mean?  Not only do I feel fed up with the constan

I said I wouldn't do it. Heck I even cracked a joke or two about it while sarcastically saying "Does that bring you joy?" The truth of the matter is, the KonMarie way actually makes a lot of sense! I hadn't heard of Marie Kondo and I scrolled right past her show multiple times on Netflix. The next thing I knew "Marie Kondo" became a commonly used verb and the KonMarie way exploded all over social media. Therefore, I was intrigued. In a way, I've always been a lot like Marie Kondo, just not as extreme. I get a lot of my cleanliness, organization and hatred for excessive clutter from my Dad. I am very thankful for those values instilled in me by our own personal "Mr. Clean," because growing up, he always made sure we had a clean and organized place to call home. From my college dorm room, to our first home, to the home we have now, I have always strived to keep it clean, organized and "tidy." Here's the thing though. The man I mar

We've all been there. We've all been "that mom" in a public place where one of those famous epic meltdowns takes place. A few days ago, that was me and it happened at one of my all-time favorite places to escape. A place where no meltdown should ever happen, because it is the ultimate mom escape. You guessed it...TJ Maxx. What started out as fun one-on-one time for me and my little girl, suddenly spiraled into us at the front of the store, Everly having a fit and me taking on the role of "that mom" while trying to remain 100% calm as I felt the watchful eyes of my fellow maxxinistas. Let me just start by saying DAMN YOU TOY SECTION. I feel like I've gotten pretty good at finding alternative routes around stores in order to avoid the toys. However in this instance, Everly's favorite section, the dress section, happens to be located right across from the dreaded toy section. There we stood, looking through the dresses, picking out a sparkly unicorn d

"Life is tough my darling, but so are you." 2018 was a year of incredible self-growth for me for a huge variety of reasons. I had my highs and my lows. There were events in the last year that lit a fire inside of me and I decided going into 2019; that I would go into the new year with my best and strongest foot forward. I found my voice. I've learned that despite what you may see on social media, we are all often fighting different inner battles, myself included. Kindness is so important for this reason. We should be lifting each other up instead of breaking each other down. A compliment or a simple "hello" can go a very long way. So if you take anything out of this blog, I want it to be that. At the same time, I want to share with you what self-growth has done for me as we are embarking upon 2019. Self-care. I don't know if it's because I actually make this a priority now, but I am all of a sudden seeing "self-care" content everywhe