Skip to main content

Dancing Around Your Thoughts

Today I looked in the mirror and thought "good grief my eyes look so tired today." It's one of those days where there's just not enough concealer and you need that second or third cup of coffee.

Most of my blogs are typically silly and about rocking the mom life. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love it and wouldn't change it for the world. But we are all human and there are just certain things that can start to eat at you when kept within. Sometimes when you hold your emotions in, because you literally can't let it out in front of your littles, it can make you feel like you are going to explode. It can make you freaking crazy. In those moments, I tend to take mine and channel them into a good sweat. But sometimes we just need to talk things out.

One of the toughest aspects of my current stage of mom life is when you have something on your heart. Whether you are dealing with some crazy emotions, someone you care about has hurt your feelings, you've experienced something sad or you're struggling to deal. We all experience those times. Whatever you are dealing with emotionally...do you ever feel like you want to scream something from the rooftops to get it off of your chest, but you can't because those little ears are always around and always listening? It's even worse when you don't think they were listening...that is until they repeat your conversation to someone, typically out of context, making their momma look like a big a-hole.

We are currently in that chapter. And dang it...it can be difficult to handle. You have to remember that their curiosity is completely natural and the lack of filter is part of being a kid. But pour me some wine, because it's driving me crazy at times.

I can also remember being that little kid who was so curious about the adult world and what my own mom was talking about with her friends or on the phone. It's perfectly natural, but sometimes when I'm finally feeling like I have an opportunity to express myself, be it to my mom or a dear friend, I glance over and there are those baby blues trying to take it all in. If it's not my kiddos, it's my friend's kiddos. And it stings even worse when my words are taken in, spun and repeated to people who I never intended to know about certain conversations.

If you've watched The Handmaid's Tale, sometimes I feel like June in her having to remain mute, yet you hear all of her inner dialogue. I feel like sometimes I have a constant stream of inner dialogue, because I just can't let it out. The inability to have real conversations sometimes takes a toll. The constant interruptions when you are trying to have an adult conversation while safely dancing around some of your real thoughts to make them appropriate with children present is exhausting sometimes.

I am putting my thoughts down for my fellow moms. It's so easy to feel trapped in your own body and emotions. As moms, we often feel like we have to have our shit together 24/7. Trust me. I am one of those moms. I set the bar extremely high for myself as a working mom of three, as well as staying true to who I am as an individual and sometimes it's taxing. Sometimes it's like we aren't allowed to truly "feel."

It's up to us as moms to find a safe space to let it all out. We owe it to ourselves in order to be the best moms we can be and the best versions of ourselves. Be it over margaritas with a dear friend, on a day trip with your mom or heck, via text, in a social media support group or even in a journal...we have to let our thoughts out. I'm working on it. I hope you will do the same. As moms, we are all in this together. We should be lifting each other up. I encourage you to reach out to a mom friend today and just let her know you are thinking of her.










Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What I Learned from Frugal January

While I don't believe in new year resolutions, I do believe in goals, aspirations and dreams. As a society, we're made to feel that with each new year, we must make resolutions, which more often than not, fade by March or set us up for failure. The feeling of failure is never good for the spirit, so a couple of years ago, I decided to stop giving in to that societal pressure. I have found that self-reflection is an excellent place to begin a new year and set realistic goals. This year, I started by challenging myself to what I named Frugal January. It's exactly what it sounds like. I challenged myself to only spend on necessities. I gave up runs to the coffee shop and trips to TJ Maxx. I gave up frivolous, careless and impulse-based spending, no matter how big or small it was. I asked myself one question with every single purchase decision, "do I really need this?" If I could live without it, I declined it. Did this cause me physical pain at times? Yes! There were...

2023 Taking Care of Me

For me, 2023 has been a year of conquering fears and making lifestyle changes. As parents, how often do we place ourselves on the back burner? It's so common and I am 100% guilty of it. This year, something inside of me clicked. Maybe it's the whole "wisdom with age" thing. Maybe it's finally getting the courage to go to therapy. Perhaps, it's a little bit of both. For me, it happened with a 3-step plan. It's a plan that terrified me, but I held myself accountable and put the plan into action.  Step 1: Medical Health January 2023, the 4th to be exact, started with a wellness visit to my primary care doctor. Was I even allowed to refer to her as that when I hadn't paid her a visit since 2018? Yes. 2018. Of course, we had the whole pandemic thing in the mix, but we can only use that excuse for so long. I hadn't had a women's well check since 2018. I was having all kinds of strange symptoms, that I told myself was just the downward spiral to 40 (n...

Betty's Story

 Let me preface with this. The Zehnle family was not looking for a dog. For over a decade, I remained firm in my stance against getting a big dog. The commitment, costs, added responsibility to our already loaded plate, my need for clean, etc, were all reasons why I never thought that adding a big dog to our family would be a good idea. I also believe that sometimes four legged family members find you at the right time, when you are not even looking. I'll admit, hearing Michael's half of that phone call made my skin crawl at the idea. However, I saw his face. And in that moment, I knew it was happening. I can't be the villain forever and he was willing to step up and take care of her.  After that phone call, I had the next couple of weeks to wrap my head around the idea. Ready or not, Betty was coming to live with The Zehnles. I'll be honest, I lived in total denial for those couple of weeks and prayed that things would fall through. That Saturday morning arrived though...